The one, the only text post.

This will be the only post where I type words directly into this blog. Everything after this will be hand written, or stamped, or typewritten. It will be music and short films and audio.

This is how you must get to know me, because this is how I communicate and express myself. If you pay close attention, I will tell you who I am. But you must first forget everything you think you know about me. Leave it at the door, and when you step inside, be fully prepared to meet me for the first time.

This is my biography. My story. I will tell it exactly as I remember it, and without apology. If I say that something was damaging, that is all I am saying. Cause and effect. To say that something damaged me is not the same as blaming others for my problems.

Everyone has problems. Everyone has their own curated collection of trauma that has shaped them into the person that they are today. I like to think of mine as learning experiences; a list of things not to do, ways not to act, people not to be.

Sadly, there are others whose trauma simply shapes them into rough, jagged little assholes who can only find joy in hurting others.

That is who I am specifically not. I have been on the receiving end of those poor, abrasive aberrations more times than I could possibly keep track of, and as I said, I aim to treat others the way I would have preferred to be treated.

It isn’t for everyone, which is even more unfortunate. For example, I wish to be told when I have been hurtful so that I can first clear up any misunderstandings, and second, use the information to make better choices in the future. There are, however, some who do not want to know when they have been harmful, because they do not feel they need to change.

This is where I disagree with most humans. It is my opinion that if you can look back at yourself ten years ago and not cringe, then you haven’t been learning and growing. That’s what life is all about, to me. Make like a tree and slowly grow while helping those around you grow.

There is no need for hostility, violence, and other general ugliness. It’s so primitive and it solves nothing.

So if you have an opinion of me, please dissolve it now. Consider that perhaps things were miscommunicated. Perhaps you listened to a liar. Maybe you misunderstood my intentions. It could be that someone only talks to you about me when they are angry with me, in which case you should fully expect them to spin the situation in their favor.

There’s always two sides.

This is my side. Of my entire life. If you happen to be a character in the story of my life, and you don’t like the way you are depicted, consider whether you should have acted better and use this as a learning experience so that you can grow as a person.

I am not blaming. I am not shaming. I am simply trying to tell my story so that something of me will remain when I die.

Please try not to shit on it.